“Why” is the number one question that causes setbacks, uncertainty, disbelief, even depression. Might sound vague. Might keep you from moving forward or even allowing yourself to feel things that you deeply and honestly feel because you find answers to the “why” that aren’t necessarily the truth, but are comforting.
Are you one of those people who often asks yourself “Why?” So then ask yourself, “What is your truth?” Have you ever heard the saying, “the truth will set you free?” Understanding your true emotions and feelings will allow you to find the right answers to your why, and you will discover how you should truly live your life.
Now, again, all of this might sound confusing and well, terrifying. But I promise you it will lead you to finding your ultimate path in life and you will discover your true identity, you will find strength you didn’t know you had, a passion for something new you will discover, and relationships that you didn’t see starting or ending.
I’m going to share something very personal in how I started to finally discover my truths. This year on my Birthday I had an extreme mental breakdown. I felt lost, alone, fearful, and that no one TRULY cared about me. I wasn’t happy and NO one could do any single thing or say anything to make me happy. I cried on my couch for over 5 hours straight, and at this moment I knew I needed a change. My mental health was spiraling downhill and I needed help, I just wasn’t sure how to get it. I’m good at masking my emotions through my job, physical activity, and making other people feel good about themselves. This brings me pure satisfaction and is almost like a “high” for me because I’m so passionate at what I do, I FEEL so much for others. This is my way of coping with my own emotions and struggle because when others succeed I also feel as though I succeed with them. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, however, I knew that I had deep rooted emotions that I had been masking on and off for over 5 years that I needed to sort out so I could ultimately make myself happy and not be held back anymore in a life that I was now feeling trapped in.
At, 35 years old, I can honestly say that I am NOW just beginning to live my truth. I’m freeing myself from the “why” and the excuses I would give myself and give for others. I’m taking each and every day to live in what feels right for me at that point in time. I’m trusting my “gut” which is something that is an extremely scary thing. I’m a people pleaser and I want to be everyone’s rock, but in the end the rock is now cracked and will break if I don’t make a severe change.
These truths have caused me a lot of mental struggle, emotional pain, and a loss of self-confidence which is something I take pride in teaching. They will continue to change me and mold me into the person that am meant to be, with the people that are meant to be in my life, with the places and things that are meant for me to experience. I’m still scared and not clear on where I am going, but I’m looking up rather than down.
I know now that I will always live passionately, love hard, and I’ll NEVER hold back on my TRUTH. Why? So I never have to ask myself that question again.