Do you ever feel like a failure? Do you ever feel like you’re not enough? That no matter what you do, who you try to please or how honest you REALLY are, it is never good enough?
Failure is a fear we all have. It is the result of the unknown and the result of things we can’t control. The past five months I have been experiencing a mix of emotions: pain, love, insecurity, loss, depression, motivation and even weakness, sometimes ALL together. I am a 35 year old woman, and this is the age where I should be thriving in excellence, building a family, and creating my legacy. At this age I thought I would be the happiest, not the saddest. I thought I would have it ALL together, instead of picking up a million pieces that I just can’t seem to get right. I’m lonely, struggling with my emotions, and balancing not only my personal problems, but others’ close to me, as I can’t let down those who count on me or else that would definitely make me feel even worse.
It’s Christmas time. A time where Christ came into the world to save us sinners. A time where forgiveness, love and peace should be all around us. Then why instead am I feeling like the complete opposite? I know I am not alone. I know that things in my life could definitely be worse. I also know that this is only temporary and that God definitely must have a miracle plan for what I am going through. So what does this all mean?
In the midst of my day today, a priest told me “God started with you and will end with you. As of now, God is in the middle. God loves you too much to let you stay the way you are.”- Fr. Nebo Pantic
I instantly wrote this down and took a moment in silence to think about this. Knowing this, it gave me hope. Whenever I’m feeling like I have nothing or no one to turn to, God is the only thing left in my room of silence, and the only person that has control on God supporting me or not is ME.
You see, believing comes from God. Believing in God makes you BELIEVE in general. In fact I believe that believing IS God. Believing in yourself, your path, your journey, your struggles, your losses, your relationships, your EVERYTHING. When we are lost, we have two choices. One, to stay lost. Or two, to believe we will find our way. And that is HOPE.
This Christmas all I have is HOPE. All I ask for is HOPE. All I wish of is HOPE. And I hope all of you found some comfort in this message to believe in yourself, and believe that with every failure you encounter, you will also encounter a NEW vision on yourself that God already saw in you from the beginning… Remember this is just your middle, not the end.
I believe in YOU. xoxo, Melina